Ghost's Anatomy
by Gothika Faerie
Summary: A random oneshot on jealousy and looks. It's really funny, I promise you.


Title: Ghost's Anatomy

Summary: A little random oneshot about the most attractive member of the Ghostly Trio. Which in my book is Stretch! You'll soon see that jealousy and competitiveness turns this little anatomy show into a full-blown ghost fight!

Genre: Humor/General

Rated: K for cartoon violence

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Me: Today, we shall study the anatomy of an attractive ghost to see how they keep their well-being. Now we need a handsome specimen. (Stinky floats on screen and poses 'prettily'. Cane reaches out and yanks him backstage.) Um… (Clears throat) I said a 'handsome' specimen, (Camera pans toward Stretch floating nearby.) Aah…now I shall begin; note the elegance of his curved tail. (Stretch poses.) And the infinite care he has taken of his slim figure. (Poses, yet again.)

Stinky: Hey, I'm supposed to be there, not him! (Points at Stretch while fuming.) 

Me: Um…and now to study the ghost's way of grooming himself.

Stretch: Will you get lost or go scare some fleshies, Stinky? I'm busy here. (Stinky's eyes widen in shock and anger.)

Stinky: Oh, so that's the way you play, eh? CCCAAAAAASSSSSSPPPPPEEEEERRRRRR! (Camera pans to a pudgy and puny blue-eyed ghost of about 13.) 

Me: The ghost will always have the point on his head sagged backwards in such a way to look refined. (Camera zooms in on his head.)

Casper: What is it, Uncle Stinky? 

Me: His eyes would be a vibrant mixture of three traffic-stopping pigments: violet, indigo and aquamarine. (Stretch blinks suggestively at the camera.)

Stinky: Oh, I'll tell you what's going on! You'd better not turn out like your eldest uncle over here that deliberately shoved out of the spotlight. (Points to Stretch who simply ignores the infuriated ghost.) When he knows too well, I'm the right handsome one. (Crickets chirping.) Well, ain't I! 

Me: His frame is sleek, sophisticated and flexible. (Stretch poses to show his elongated frame.)

Casper: Well uh… (Scratches head) you've gotta admit, Uncle Stinky. Uncle Stretch is much more…adequately attractive than you are. (Stinky's eyes widen yet again.)

Stretch: Ha! 'Adequately attractive'.

Me: He also has a lilting and rather loud voice that is usually accented. A Brooklyn accent, preferably. 

Stinky: Is that so? FFFFAAAATTTTSSSOOO! Get your chunky tail over here! (Camera pans to a rather corpulent and confused ghost who floats in.)

Fatso: What's the entire hubbub about? 

Stinky: Who's better looking: me or old Lanky-Panky over there? (Points at Stretch who's very much offended.)

(Crickets chirp, yet again.) 

Stinky: Well!

Fatso: Um…well…Stretch is sort of refined-looking and…don't take offense…but at least he doesn't smell. (Now, Stinky's eyes are wide as dinner plates.)

Stinky: Oh, is that so! (Tackles Fatso and starts pounding him with a cane.)

Me: The ghost may wish to morph into various costumes like this matador one, for instance. (Stretch morphs and poses.) To achieve a stunning Spanish flair. 

Casper: Dr. Harvey, I might need some help over here. (Flies over to the sitting room where a 30-something year old man is sipping some coffee.) 

Dr. Harvey: What's going on here? (Looks at Casper in confusion.)

Casper: Um…a slight misunderstanding about looks. (Blushes.)

Me: The ghost may also wish to morph into a formal tux to achieve a classical, cultured and divine image. (Stretch morphs and poses again.)

Dr. Harvey: What's the misunderstanding for? Everyone knows Stretch is the best-looking of the trio. (Stinky and Fatso stop and stare at the psychiatrist in alarm.) (Stretch smirks smugly.) I mean, he possesses those magnificent violet eyes and sultry gaze. And he's neither foul-smelling nor corpulent. (Fatso and Stinky become enraged and lunge at the doctor.) 

Stinky: Foul-smelling means ugly, eh? Foul-smell this!

Fatso: I dunno what corpulent means, but I've a feeling it's an insult!

Dr. Harvey: Um…can we settle this in a civilized manner? (Is trembling in fear.)

Fatso& Stinky: NO! (Tackles the doctor and the whole fighting scene is encased in a cloud brought in to censor the violence.)

Me: The ghost also may wish to go Hawaiian style in a floral-printed shirt and a flower garland around his neck. (Stretch morphs into the aforementioned outfit while carrying a ukulele. He strums it.)

Casper: Kat! HELP! (Camera pans to a pretty young adolescent who is related to the said psychiatrist whom is now being pummeled.) 

Kat: What the heck happened here!

Casper: Don't ask, please. Just don't ask. (Crumples into a heap of white liquid on the floor.)

Me: Now our attractive experiment floats off stage. Oblivious to a trail of destruction he has created. (Stretch floats off while the camera pans toward the censor cloud. Voices are heard.)

Stinky: How's this for foul-smelling! (Releases a blast of halitosis into the doctor's face which turns the doctor into a green pigment.)

Fatso: How's this for cor-pu-lent or whatever you just said! (Pounds Dr. Harvey on his back, flattening the doctor into a heap of helplessness.) 

Kat: I suddenly wished today was a school day. (Walks away, holding a hand to her throbbing temples.)

Me: Well, that's it for 'Ghost's Anatomy'. Jealousy is queer, isn't it? Please read and review.

End


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